Double Yolk Indemnity
I never buy grocery store bagels. While not a connoisseur, I know a good bagel when I eat one, and they are rarely frozen or prepackaged.
While cruising the aisles today I saw this item, and nearly had a moment of weakness. There they were, eye level, five soft and chewy-looking egg bagels, just begging to be toasted and slathered with my spread of choice.
Or maybe not.
When I looked a little more closely I saw that these were not egg bagels at all, but rather bagels with “egg color added.” Or maybe they were egg bagels with some other color added, something like jonquil or stil de grain.
Now, in all fairness, these may be the best bagels ever baked. I can’t say. I didn’t buy them. As a former ad man, though, I have to admire the play.
Still, if ever I write a P.I novel, I think I have my opening:
“The blonde walked into my office at noon. Her hair was the color of a pre-sliced, dairy case egg bagel, recently tinted, and of questionable taste.”